REVIVAL OF MYSELF

This winter is the coldest winter i’ve ever experienced my whole not-so-very-long life. Cold in the actual mean caused me freezing in spite of the warmer that is working already. All I hope I need to do is stay at home and get myself warm whether in the tub or under thick blankets. But i do need to do a hell lot of things today. I’ve told Lisa to expect me this morning for her extra lesson cause her mother asked me to. In the afternoon I need to visit Feinne, my fiancee at her house. She’s sick and she needs me by her side, hahaha. But I can’t stay there for the rest of the day cause my former band will play in the Shaky Rods, a nice bar just outside the town. At least i can show my appreciation by watching them play. Playing songs that i wrote. Singing lines that I used to sing. Pah, I remembered that I also need to pay some bills and buy three lamps. I really need to replace that garden lamp and two other. Hell, It’s one heck of a day. So I get myself ready and hurried to the front door. Usually, snow blocked my house’s door so i’ve got to do some extra work to open it. And that Sunday morning was no different. I sighed and turn the door key open.

“No Lisa, no. You need to put your index finger across the fretboard and hold it tight so the strings sound like this,” I give her an example. Have any idea of what am I? Yes, I am a guitar teacher. What do i do? Well, I teach people playing guitar. Little kids usually, and they’re not so easy to learn, oh hell, they’re not so easy to even listen! But i wouldn’t be like what I am now if only I was not being so hardheaded and leave my parent’s house to be a musician. A young one’s dream. Always seems to be so pretty and reachable. Before i realize my poor luck and choose something more realistic.

“Hey Mister, why do people plays guitar? Isn’t it hard?” ask Lisa suddenly.

“Hmm..,” I think for a second, remembering my youth “Yes it’s hard. But they like it. They like strumming the guitar strings and make some music, carve smiles on other’s faces,” Oh yeah that sounds cheesy but hell, Lisa is a third grader.

“Is that so, Mister? But I don’t like ‘strumming the guitar strings’ so why do I even bother learning to play?” Lisa shows her doll. “I just love playing with my Genie here,”.

I left Lisa’s house earlier than usual. I can’t really stand kids like Lisa. She talks more than she listen. And in order to learn playing guitar, someone really need to listen. I hasten my steps so I can catch up with the 10 o’clock tram at the nearby stopping place. I can’t wait to see Feinne’s pale face. I know it’s weird but i like her being pale better that her usual bright red cheeks and cheerful face.

“Hey Fi, how do you feel?” I kissed her forehead. My lips burned. “Wow, you’re so.. hot,”

She smiled, a heavenly smile, “Well thank you,” and then she giggled.

I sat at the side of her bed and said, “You know what, i brought you Shiitake mushrooms. Your mom is cooking it as we speak,”

“Mushroom porridge for lunch then I suppose. She would never give me anything tastier than that,” She said.

“Haha,” I laughed, “That’s for your quick recovery silly,”

“Hey i’m not silly. I’m not the one who pays ten bucks for a 50 cents chocolate bar,” Feinne touched my cheek. It’s burning. She really got herself severe fever.

I shocked, “Wha.., that’s an old story. Don’t think that you still remember it. But you see, isn’t only the silliest woman in the whole world who would accept a proposal from someone that silly? You get what I mean?”

She opened her mouth like she’s going to laugh but no, she cough. One deep cough and blood spurted from her mouth. I don’t really know what to do so I just took the kleenex on the table right beside her bed and wiped the blood clean from her face and clothes. I whispered, “Take a deep breath honey, I’ll go get you some help,”. I stood, but she suddenly held my left arm tight. “Just a minute, wait here okay,” I calmed her. I drew my arm out of her hand and went out. I told Feinne’s mother what have happened and she called the ambulance.

I escorted her to the hospital, waited her to be examined and i can’t believe what i heard from this Dr. Graff guy. All the doctor said was that she suffered some rare disease which I’ve never heard before which is highly contagious and that she needs rest for the time being and cannot be diturbed by anyone but her family. So not even I can see her. I called her mother and tell her what had happened. She seemed pretty worried and said that she’ll go to the hospital whe Feinne’s dad came home. And now I’m standing at the empty hallway of the hospital, wondering what should I do. I glanced to my watch and decided to go to Shaky Rods now, knowing the band will play in five hours.

Chivas Regal and Cola. The only alcoholic drink I drink and I like. So i have a shot of it and hold it in my hand, not really have any intention to drink it now. And someone touched my back.

“Hey Alf, long time no see,” I said. Alf was my bandmate. He plays drum.

“Yeah, dude. Quite worried you died or something,” He called the bartender and told him to give him something strong.

“Yeah.., I was afraid at first. Leaving the band and trying to live some ‘normal’ life. But somehow I can manage to do it. How’s the band by the way?”

“As same as it always been. Been hiring six different people to take over your place at the vocal section but nothing satisfactory. Dan will be singing tonight.” Alf drank his shot without really thinking what inside. All he knew is it ‘something strong’.

“Good for him. He was the vocalist before I took his place,”

“Yeah, and sure as hell he didn’t happy about that,”

I smiled. An awkward smile. “So, why’re you here already? I thought you’ll play at eight tonight?”

“Well, yeah.. but I practically live in this bar. You know they have rooms rented on the second floor? That’s where I sleep,”.

“Wha.. you live here? With your wife and kids?” I shocked. I thought Alf is still living in his small comfy house on Eiden Street with his lovely wife and two cute daughters.

Alf shook his head slowly, “.., there was.. a problem,”

I spent the next two hours talking about his problem. And we wouldn’t stop if only Dan didn’t come and greet me. Then the rest of the band came and they’re doing some sound-checking when someone caught my attention. An asian girl was sitting alone in the corner, staring blankly to the stage. No, she’s not Chinese, I know some Chinese girls but she’s not like any them. She has those round black eyes unlike slanting eyes like a Chinese girl should be. Her skin darker than my chinese friends, and her shoulder-length hair is black. And her face is.., stunning. As if God Himself came down to the earth and carve it out of the finest material. The curves of her face is so natural and fit her slender tall figure. Wrapped in thin black winter-coat with a little fur accents, she looked so damn gorgeous